BREAKING NEWS: YA fiction author Lucy Christopher is living my dream

What do you mean you don’t know who YA fiction author Lucy Christopher is? She was shortlisted for the Costa Children’s Book Award! She won the Southern Schools Book Award! SHE WON A GOLDEN INKY!

For bookssake, what does a girl have to do to get noticed around here?

Yeah, I’m kidding obvs. I didn’t know who she was either until I decided that I wanted to branch out in my author stalking, clearly only because I dislike that the words ‘NEIL’ and ‘GAIMAN’ are so huge in my fancy tag cloud over on the right there. ————————->

So anyway I’ve started author stalking YA fiction author Lucy Christopher – in a FRIENDLY way, jeez! – of whose two published novels (Stolen and Freedom) I’ve read nil, nada, none und nichts. Yet. There is still time. So meanwhile, before I’ve perused her disgustingly well-received novels, I have found something else to entertain myself with. It turns out, quite coincidently, that YA fiction author Lucy Christopher is LIVING MY IMAGINARY LIFE!

Yes, that’s right folks: YA fiction author Lucy Christopher has somehow managed to break into my imagination, has STOLEN all my ideas for things I have imagined for my own life, and has made them a reality in her actual life! In other words, SHE HAS PRE-EMPTIVELY PLAGIARISED MY LIFE! I’m suing. I confess to not being particularly familiar with the fine print of copyright law but I have absolutely no doubt that this is covered somewhere in there. You remember the adverts: “Life plagiarism is a CRIME. DO NOT accept it. Demand an ORIGINAL life from your video store.” Or something.

YA fiction author Lucy Christopher’s List of Things She Has Stolen From My Imaginary Life

1. She has published THE DREAM plural well-received YA novels
2. She took THE DREAM Masters degree in Creative Writing at Bath Spa** (AND got a Distinction for it)
3. She is doing THE DREAM creative PhD
4. She is doing THE DREAM lecturing-at-a-university-whilst-simultaneously-fitting-in-writing-more-novels.
5. She reckons she’s always wanted to go in a hot air balloon but, excuse me, that is my ACTUAL DREAM!
6. Finally, and to top it all off, she is represented by CHICKEN HOUSE. This of all things makes me fuge (pronounced ‘huge’). Chicken House is MY preferred publisher and has been for years, ever since that time I picked up a Chicken House book and saw that the editor had written a little note about the book in the front. I thought to myself “Oh, how lovely. What a wonderful personal touch – this editor must really care about this book, and this publishing house must really care about their authors and editors to let them do this. I can’t wait until I write my imaginary future award-winning YA novels because I’m going to send them to Chicken House and refuse to have them published by anyone else in the whole world EVER”. Why, YA fiction author Lucy Christopher? WHY? COULDN’T YOU LEAVE ME JUST THAT ONE SCRAP OF THE DREAM LIFE?

(** Actually, this isn’t a valid point: the ACTUAL dream MA is the Bath Spa MA in Writing for Young People, but it’s close enough.)

You know the worst thing? She sounds like she’s so damn NICE. Ugh. She says “Hi Guys” when she writes a blog entry. She takes her mum to book awards. She volunteers in South Africa.

Yeah, WHATEVER YA fiction author Lucy Christopher. I shake my fist at you. You may be a successful, prizewinning YA novelist who gets to travel all over the world living all the best elements of my dream life, but I’m in ADMIN.

*sigh*

She’s my hero.

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5 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: YA fiction author Lucy Christopher is living my dream

  1. nic says:

    How dare she plagiarise your life like that? If it helps I will become your friendly blog stalker? One step closer to world domination.

    CAMP NANOWRIMO?

    nic xxxxx

    • Sasperella says:

      YES PLEASE! All I want in life are friendly blog stalkers… I just don’t feel as though people care unless they’re compulsively checking and commenting on my blog.

      I’m up for giving Camp NaNo a try though I’ve done ZERO planning and have nothing particular in mind. WAHEY! You’re doing it too, right? xxx

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