I’m furious.

I’m furious because, if you’re a millionaire, “I accidentally fell and accidentally penetrated the potentially unconscious teenage girl on my sofa” is a legitimate and successful defense against a rape allegation. I jibber incoherently in my disgust and outrage.

I’m furious because the Independent’s internet campaign for donations to the Great Ormond Street Hospital – a British children’s hospital – features exclusively pictures of white children / families.

I’m furious because I’m SICK of Western tourists coming to Bangkok who seem to think it’s fine and dandy to support the sex trade and the exploitation and degradation of Thai, Laos, Cambodian and Burmese women. You think paying to watch a woman shove razor blades into her vagina is lolzfun entertainment? Would you pay to see that in your own country, or is it only OK because the women you’re watching don’t look like you?

I’m furious because of this RIDICULOUS image entitled 10 Things Guys Wish All Women Knew which showed up uninvited on my Pinterest feed and turned me into a spitting, lava-churning volcano of rage and bile.

Allow me to translate:

10 Bits Of Sexist Bullshit Massive Misogynists Wish All Women Believed

1) We are more comfortable talking AT you rather than WITH you. If you want an honest conversation then the problem is your neediness rather than our reticence.

2) We can’t be fucked to remember things. We expect you to do this for us. It’s far more convenient having another human being spend their mental energy updating us on our lives, rather than expending that energy ourselves.

3) We can’t be fucked to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Society doesn’t require us to multitask.

4) We do not think you are more important than this video game/ sports match / cooking programme. We want you to know how little we think of you so that you don’t waste our time by interrupting us. Our down time is SACRED and cannot be touched. Your downtime is a frivolous luxury and does not follow the same rules.

5) We don’t particularly mind whether or not you are unhappy, as long as you don’t display annoying outward signs of unhappiness and/or expect us to do anything about it.

6) If we ask you what is wrong, the only acceptable reply is “Nothing”, which means we can get back to our video game/ sports match / cooking programme and pretending to be oblivious to your hurt/irritation/anger etc so we don’t have to deal with it. It also means we can deny accountability in case you mistakenly expected us to display any interest whatsoever in what you had to say – “Well, you SAID nothing was wrong”.

7) Having successfully silenced you over weeks, months or years of ill-veiled disinterest in your emotional experiences, we also want you to know that you expect too much from us; you expect the impossible; you are UNJUST; WE are, in fact, the victims here. And, just so you know, this attitude is an attitude of LOVE, and you DO want to be loved, don’t you? Good. So be grateful.

8) We will make no effort to clean up our act. We are not the problem, you and your absurd idea about being in a mutually respectful, loving, supportive relationship are the problem.

9) We haven’t bothered to find out what you are interested in, but presumably it’s handbags. Because wombs carry thing and women are basically walking wombs. IT’S SCIENCE.

10) Stop talking. We are neither listening nor interested.


RAGE and DISGUST have led me to make another charity donation, this time to Rape Crisis (in response to #1 on my list of rage-inducers).

Take that, world.


4 thoughts on “Fury

  1. jpettingale says:

    It is good that you feel passionately about such subjects. I am glad to see that you take positive action where you can. Keep it up!

  2. elsewhereunderwritten says:

    That “ten things…” bullshit also annoyed me. Not only is it massively misogynistic and assumes that all women are the same (I.e. Lesser beings), it also assumes that all men hold that opinion. Who is this “we” it speaks of? It’s not me or any man I’m friends with.

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