The New Zealand: A Review

(Life update: I am a Copywriter now. Don’t act so surprised. And ignore all previous bad writing, misplaced commas and general imperfections of previous posts. They don’t matter, BECAUSE NOW I AM A COPYWRITER.)

The New Zealand was new and extremely Zealandy. It had approximately 33.3% more zeal than I had expected. And 1110% less people.

Just kidding. FEWER people. I’m a Copywriter, yo.

It gave me the heebiejeebies. The New Zealand, not being a Copywriter. It (The New Zealand) is so far away from the rest of the world. Tiny, deserted, prone to terrifying earthquakes. I’ve always lived in towns or cities surrounded by other towns and cities, themselves surrounded by cities and towns and still more cities. Sure, in Leeds Beloved Leeds we were close to hills, to countryside, to long walks and fresh air… but also to people and action and movement.

In The New Zealand, not so much. It’s all space. Mountains. Rivers. Grass(es). Birds that sound like prehistoric creatures. The towns are binary: you’re in them, and then you aren’t. The in-between spaces are enormous. To get from one populated area to another, you have to drive. No people (action, movement, buildings, events, life) for miles. Nothing.

The New Zealand is unsettlingly empty.

Let’s have some context. Numbers don’t lie (Copywriters do). The New Zealand, at 267,710 sq km, is slightly bigger than the UK (243,610 sq km). It has a population of around 4.5 million people. The UK, slightly smaller, has a population of around 64 million. Sixty four (64). MILLION (million). It is 59.5 million people empty.

Astound.

 

 

 

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