World Book Day 2011


Derek Landy (of Skullduggery Pleasant fame, obvs) is writing a book for World Book Day. Y’know who else wrote a book for World Book Day this one time in the past? That’s right, NEIL ‘I’m-excessively-smug-and-look-how-kooky-I-am-with-my-messy-hair-jeez-don’t-you-just-WISH-you-were-a-cool-and-successful-author-like-me’ GAIMAN. Brilliant. I can’t wait. I get to judge these two writery froods on a level playing field. A COMPLETELY level playing field that will be in no way hampered by the excessive, pointless and groundless prejudices I have against Neil ‘Hey-everyone-come-and-see-how-smug-I-am’ Gaiman. Nope. No way.

Currently reading: ‘Sunnyside’ by Glen David Gold. (This is just something I’m going to put in from now on. For interest. But also just to prove that I do read things that AREN’T books-meant-for-kids-but-wot-I-read-anyway. So ner.)



First, I discovered THIS HILARIOUS GENERATOR. Read some internet fiction and want to leave a gloriously crappy comment, but prevented from doing so by your natural good grammar and spelling? Well worry no more, this generator is for you! It makes me want to spam the shit out of my childhood internet haunt, Elfwood. YEAHWOT? I WAS A FF GEEK! SO WHAT? WE CAN’T ALL LIKE THE CURE Y’KNOW!

Second, I re-wrote my NaNoWriMo magna carta and turned it into a WORDLE! Yeah, that’s right: I’M SERIOUS THIS TIME AROUND! (For those of you who aren’t familiar with this particular usage of the words ‘magna carta’, get obsessed with NaNoWriMo for crumbs sake!). Anyway, here it is:
Wordle: Magna Carta 2

Third – yep, a freebie for you here – I have now decided to be obsessed with the children’s author DEREK LANDY, creator of the Skulduggery Pleasant series. He can’t write girl-on-girl friendships to save his life, bless him, but he sure packs a mean magic adventure. I have decided to do this because he has a BLOG in which he posted a nudity warning on a photograph of a skeleton. Win. Landy wins because he’s sarcastic rather than smug which makes him the ANTI-GAIMAN! Sarcasm would KICK THE PISS out of smug in a fight (or it’d at least say loads of mean things until smug was left crying in a corner – either’s fine).



Shit off NaNoWriMo. Nobody likes you anyway.

Except all of those millions (…hundreds of thousands? I’m not good with numbers) of people who are already cruising past 35K when I’m stuck back here in my halting, spluttering, rusting-around-the-outside, paint-flaking-off, crumpled-bonnet Skoda of a 15K wordfart.

Shitting heck. Just thinking about the atrocity exhibition that is my NaNoWriMo makes me feel all wrong, like being watched by a lone smug giant eye of Neil FRIGGIN’ Gaiman, gazing down on me from above like the I’m-so-cool Messiah of slightly kooky stories.


Skullduggery could take down Carabas, any day.

Did I really just write that?

Good. Shoot me now.